Uncertainty

I find myself in a place today where uncertainty has become exciting.  This feeling could once have been uncomfortable or disturbing but while I have much to learn still I find that being uncomfortable doesn’t bother me.

I will agree that my life has had a lot of uncertainty in it and that can be scary because you are unable to foresee what will happen next.  Now that I understand what uncertainty is built on and sustained by, I do believe that the fear and discomfort of others prevents us from learning and allowing relationships to form into healthy, strong and trusting ones.

When there’s uncertainty, we tend to role play with ideas in our heads about what others think of us, how they feel and what their reactions can or will be.  Depending on our intrapersonal outcomes we may avoid the solution all together.

The solution of course is simple, if you know what it is and how to execute it correctly.  I have no doubt that anyone can do it.  Basically, for every uncertainty present, ask a question (Non-Rhetorical) and listen; don’t just hear what you want to hear.  Though, sometimes it’s nice to ignore the facts and hear only what’s in between the invisible lines to your benefit.  It’s okay…I get it.  That’s why it’s called “uncertainty”.

The whole process in which we reduce the amount of uncertainty between us and others is something we all have to deal with when we are looking forward to continuing and developing friendships with others.  I think sometimes we can believe too strongly that either you click or you don’t, but we have a lot more control than we give ourselves credit.  The process is not a one-way street and has much to do with having multiple interpersonal interactions. 

After all we are socializing to socialize and build strong and healthy relationships, not to have out loud intrapersonal conversations, right…?  We can’t expect to be the listeners 100% of the time while our “partner” carries a on a full conversation and vice versa.  Also, don’t expect to have been able to build a relationship if you are the only one speaking and never allow for the other person to reciprocate.  If one or the other allows this to happen, one party is likely to choose to exit the relationship for lack of equal reciprocation.  We have to be willing to listen as much as we are willing to share information.  If we can do this we’ll always earn healthy, strong and trusting friendships.

Having learned this for myself I can say that I feel free, more so than ever before I don’t hold back but always ask relevant and meaningful questions, remember to listen and give back.