My husband had to go to the hospital about a week ago and when I first found out I was in a panic; the worst things came to mind. I had flashes of the last days I was with my dad and the last time I saw him. I called my sister to look after my kids and once I was by my husband’s side, I felt calm come over me. He was fine of course and my panic had been for not. A hospital setting is never comforting but while we were there I just keep thinking about how grateful I was for everything my husband gives and how he provides for us. I can’t imagine a world without him or my kids without their dad. Then here I realized something most of us take for granted…
As we listened to the doctor who had examined my husband speak about what had caused the problem, I couldn’t help but think all this could have been prevented had he had one less negligent parent… Let me explain… My husband and son both have asthma, different types, my son's is less severe and can and hopefully will grow out of it. My husbands was acquired by second hand smoke at a very young age, the parent smoker responsible refused to stop the bad habit after being advised by doctors it was in the best interest of their son. Thus, the asthma stayed put, if you have children with asthma you understand how it can affect them in life and even when choosing some careers. In turn my son has asthma because my husband passed down that gene… from what our son’s pediatrician told us there is a 50% percent chance children inherit asthma EVEN if a parent was not born with it and acquired it later in life through second hand smoke… Grrr…
Anyways, it turns out that the choice of choosing a butt over a child is still affecting my husband… He was in the hospital because after swallowing some lunch at work he felt a constant sharp pain in his lower esophagus and it turns out that it wasn’t because he had forgotten to chew (he did chew his food, I teased him a little before the fact), it is because the use of inhalers from such a young age along with the asthma had caused scar tissue to grow. I don’t know if this is a common issue or not. What I can say is that our choices as parents can affect our kids for a life time and if we choose the toxic habits in our lives over the well-being and health of our children, it will create a chain that is hard and sometimes impossible to break.
I find it tough to comprehend parents choices that are so damaging to a child's health. It is not something I deem myself capable of... I can't tell you how much I love my kids and if there was anything that I could give up that would save or give my kids a better chance in life I would give it up, even it was something I enjoyed because my family is worth it to me. I know my husband feels the same way I do and our kids come first "always".
We can't go through life believing that our ill habits will not have negative affects on the people we love the most. If you don't care what's it's doing to you, fine, it's likely that others will say "told you so" when you realize how much you actually do care... But don't take your family for granted and wait to realize how much they matter, and if not to you they will matter to someone one day.
I was a smoker for a short time before I knew my husband-to-be had asthma, but my cigs kept disappearing. My husband confessed of course and told me about the asthma, but mostly he didn't care if it affected him, he didn't want me to suffer the consequences of smoking later in life. I stopped because even though I used cigarettes as a stress reliever I cared more for him then the bad habit I was creating for myself and hiding them was his way of not taking me and our future for granted. Listen, love and be kind... don't take what you have for granted, for toxic habits.
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